Nerd Dating

Hello, my name is Fred.
I'm a pretty tough guy.
I have a tattoo on my left shoulder.
It's of a gun.
So I'm pretty tough.

I'm sorry, I lied. I don't have a tattoo on my left shoulder.
I'm not cool like that.

Well, the reason I'm writing this blog is this: I've been trying to obtain a "girl" "friend" for quite some time, to no avail. Perhaps the internet weblogging community can sympathize with me and we can help each other out.

I'll tell you my recent exploits in case you would like to learn what I've been up to.
I think I've been making some real solid approaches lately.
Like when I was at the grocery store. I had my microcassette tape recorder hidden under my shirt so that I could later review my conversation. Here is what the tape said, verbatim.

Me: Hello, Elf.
Girl in the Produce Aisle: What?
Me: Hello, Elf.
Girl: Who's Elf?
Me: Oh, that's just my pet name for you. I tend to use pet names on girls I am particularly fond of.
Girl: Oh.

She laughed at this part, though I'm not sure what was funny. I'm not a very funny guy, except sometimes.

Me: So, do you want to take a spin out for the car?
Girl: What?
Me: Do you want a spin on my car? I meant, do you spin for on to my car?

(I know guys, I didn't do this part right. I looked it up later in a book and saw it was "take you out for a spin in my car.")

Girl: I don't know what you're saying.

She started to leave, so there are rustling sounds of me trying to catch up with her with my shopping cart. I crashed my cart into hers to prevent her from leaving.

Me: Oops, I didn't mean to do that.

My stomach made a gurgling sound at this part and the tape recorder picked it up so I couldn't hear any other parts of the conversation.

Then she left, and I don't remember how it ended. But she made an eye contact once, so that's a good sign.
I think I'm well on my way.

Whilst surfing the internet, I encountered this popular book here on becoming an Alpha Male. I'm not sure that will help me, because I'm already there. I just need to fix a few things, like maybe button my collar or wear different colour shoes. But for you nerds and your nerd dating, you can take a look at that kind of a book, I guess.

More on my adventures later. I'm going to go play Nintendo, Playstation, and Sega all at the same time.